I really wanted to post on here with photos of all the amazing things that have been happening in my life over recent weeks. And I will do that the first opportunity that I get. Unfortunately, this is not that opportunity. I am once again stuck in hospital, feeling incredibly thankful for my laptop which is at least enabling me to update those of you who want to know with what is going on. I have decided that keeping my blog up to date is going to be the most effective way of letting people know where I am at, saving me from repeating the same information over and over again, and when I am not feeling up to updating, then I can ask my family to update here and know that the news will spread.
Okay - so why am I back in hospital? A not so quick catch up for those who don't really know the story so far. Throughout August/September I suffered with what was presumed to be sciatica. Pain radiated from my lower back right down my left leg and was quite debilitating. After weeks of seeing a physiotherapist to no avail and a trip to Frankston hospital which left me completely hepped up on morpheine and still in pain, my GP decided that closer investigation was neccessary. She sent me for a CT which revelead that the melanoma had metasticised to my lower back, although nothing she saw explained the pain, so into Peter Mac I went.
The end of September greeted me with the news that unfortunately the cancer has spread very aggressively through my body. I have metastacese in my spine at T11 (that's about mid back, and as it turns out was the onemost likely to be causing me all that pain), C4 and L2. There are also multiple spots throughout the bone in my pelvis and right up across my skull. Further to this there are tiny spots (under 5mm each) in my liver, spleen and lungs (actually I believe there to be about 20 spots in each lung).
So all in all, pretty crappy news. For metastic melanoma there are not many tricks in the bag. Straight away we got started on radiotherapy to the largest tumour - at T11. This was to get rid of the pain, so that I could get on with life. The next plan of attack was to begin chemotherapy, so that we could hopefully slow, stop or even reverse the spread of cancer throughout my body. Five days of radiotherapy, some healing time and then chemotherapy began on Monday 6th of October. By this stage I had been in hospital for around two weeks, so I was pleased to be allowed to go home on Tuesday. The plan was for me to come in once a week for chemo for three weeks, then to have a break for a month, then have chemo once a month for as long as it's working - or even better, until it kills all these tumours!
Friday the 10th I came back in for a follow up appointment with the radiotherapy team. Still in pain from the tumour (the effects of radiotherapy really kick in at about the 4 week mark as I understand it) I decided to lie down while I spoke to the specialist, rather than sit in pain. As I climbed up onto the examination bed, my left hip simply broke. The weakness in the bone caused by the cancer resulted in a pathological fracture, which I got sent over to St. Vincent's to have surgery for. After a week of stuffing around they finally decided to put a rod from my left hip right down to my knee. This is to strengthen that whole region, which has a couple of weak spots, so that I don't end up back there with a broken femur sometime down the track.
While I was healing from all this however, chemotherapy had to be put on hold. Even though the particular type of chemo that I am having is well received, it does stop the body from healing properly while you are on it - so I had to get to a certain point of health and strength before starting again. Very frustrating; I'm not a patient girl so this waiting game has been TOUGH! Weekly appointment back at Peter Mac for various things though have meant that I knew they were keeping an eye on me and as soon as I was able I'd be back on chemo. I was starting to feel a little better each day and even managed to sit my Maths exam on Tuesday, at the same time as gradually reducing the amount of pain relief and other medications that I am on. Wednesday afternoon however, I hit a wall. I had a sudden onset migraine, so took myself off to bed, with a top up of morph cos I was feeling so crappy, then came into Peter Mac on Thursday for a blood transfusion. The migraine was still there, but we hoped that with the extra blood things would start to improve and I could have chemotherapy on Friday as had been planned.
Friday morning and I could barely lift my head, but my ever patient mother dragged my miserable butt into the hospital to see the medical oncologist and get me started on chemo... and perhaps see if we could figure out why this migraine was so blasted persistent!
CT of my brain revealed - you guessed it - that the cancer is on the move again. Now here's where the details are still being worked out. You remember earlier I mentioned that there were spots on my skull? Now there are spots in the meningese (so sure I'm spelling all this wrong!) one of which is in the lower left and side of my skull - apparently that's quite close to one of the spots on my spine. An MRI will be done probably tomorrow, and I hope to get the chance to compare those images with the images from the last one. This will mean we can actually track what's going on, because at the moment, I'm really not sure. Being admitted to hospital on a Friday is tough too, because the people who are working on my case specifically are not here, so while I can ask general questions, the specific questions I have about my case have to wait until they return on Monday. Tuesday here is a public holiday, so that will invariably slow things up a bit too, but at least tomorrow I should have some answers.
By now if you've manageto get through ALL of that you're probably feeling completely confused and un-informed, but there it is. I will post information about radiotherapy and the exact type of chemo I am on as these things start, and I have so many blessings that have been bestowed on me that I want to share, so I will post these things as I get the energy. Hopefully by posting all my updates to one spot, everyone will be kept up to date. If you know someone who is wanting to know what's going on, please share this information, because I am really struggling to make sure the progress reports get to all those who want them.
I have been overwhelmed by the love and support that has come to not only myself, but to my family, and continue to be grateful for this. For those who I haven't already told, I AM FIGHTING! I have never been a quitter and I pray daily for the miracle that will set me free from this disease. With God, all things are possible and I ask you to join me in praying that the cancer is not in control of my body and that I live for many years to come; a testimony to God's amazing power. We have been told that the percentages are not in my favour, but percentages are just that - an AVERAGE of how people respond in this situation. I chose to be among the numbers of those who survive. I chose life - because it is GLORIOUS! I chose to be there as my children grow through the teen years and into adulthood. I chose to achieve my dreams and create new ones. I chose to grow old with my husband, a man I love as much now as the day I married him. I chose to stand before the world and bear witness to a God so great that he can heal anthing, and restore me to a health better than ever before, because I am now eating foods which are better for my body and being more aware of the things that bring health to me and my family. I chose to look at these delays, not as setbacks, but as time for my body to gather strength for the battle ahead. I chose to trust in God's plan; before I was born he knew the exact moment and circumstance of my joining Him in Heaven, and I pray that this is a long time into the future so that I have time to reach the potential I feel He has given to me.
I also chose to stop writing here and climb into bed; this has taken me a couple of sessions to write, so it's probably taken YOU a couple of sessions to read!
As always, sending this into cyberspace with my love to all those of you who care enough to stop by.
