The past week has actually seen me at Frankston Palliative Care. I have lost all strength in my body and can not even stand by myself, let alone walk, shift backwards in a seat or shower myself. This is seriously frustrating, because I actually feel quite alert but my body is incapable of doing the things that my head believes I can do. The plan has been for me to go home tomorrow night, and for Santa to deliver presents then. All the family are coming down to Hastings for a big Christmas celebration; Edwards', Wilsons and Lewthwaites - but because I can not lift myself into a standing position I really am not sure how this is going to work. Here I use a machine called a standing lifter to do everything from going to the toilet to getting in and out of bed, but at home that is not an option. I guess it's something we'll have to brainstorm and see if anyone comes up with any genius solutions to. I would really love to be there when the kids open their gifts, to be a part of one more more Christmas morning, right day or not. I am predominately pain free at the moment, but the lack of strength over-rides that.
The doctors have said I have anywhere up to 3 months to live, but if that is going to be spent as a complete paraplegic I am not sure I want 3 months. I have no desire to say goodbye to my beautiful children or to all the wonderful friends who are showering me with love, but this is so tough, and I really don't think I could handle three months of this. Praying that God either decides to restore my strength or allow me a peaceful departure after this weekend.
Omce again, thankyou to EVERYONE for their love and support; it has really lifted my spirits.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
17 comments:
my prayer for you is that your family can feel all the love that Everyone is sending and that you can enjoy one more Christmas with everyone.
I pray that all your family and friends can give you the strength when you go home and that you will be truely blessed while at home
I also pray you are granted your wish of going peacefully even though it's really hard to say goodbye I pray you have the strength and God can place the right words within you for your children
haven't know you long but you have inspird me so much I'm sadden by you lastest post but I also know God is calling you home for a reason love to you and your family over the coming weeks
Karen Haywood
Hi Dee
its Annette here from SS NSC. Everyone sends their love. :-) I hope your Christmas Day this weekend is lovely and that you can figure out what to do about the lifting.
We miss chatting to you. xxx
Hi Dee and Andrew,
My wish is that you get to see Dane and Lydia open their pressies. Who cares whether it is the right day or not.
Enjoy every precious moments with Andrew, Dane and Lydia, your wonderful parents, family and friends.
I wish for you tranquility and peace.
Love Figgy.
XXX
Dear Dee, I just don't know what to say love!I am just so sad for you and your family. I do hope you have a wonderful Christmas celebration this weekend. You and your family are in my thoughts Dee, I love you.
Manon
Dear Dee
It is Jasmine (FayRay from SS). I wish you peace.
I pray that you have a lovely Christmas celebration with your dear family.
Love
Jasmine
to my special gorgeous friend dee
it breaks my heart to read what you are going through at the moment. i seen the photos of you that your brother put on fb with the kids and it just melted my heart. im praying that god gives you the strength you need and deserve to overcome this, i never want to say goodbye...
love you xo
Thanks Dee,
For sharing the photos of you, Dane and Lydia.
Figgy
XXX
Oh Dee
I hope you work out how to get home for your Christmas celebration. I'm thinking of you and your gorgeous family. I miss your cheery comments and fun LOs on CIS. Take care my CISter.
Love Ali xxx
Dee I have been thinking of you daily and really hope and pray that you have the strength to enjoy your family Christmas this weekend, to watch Dane and Lydia open their presents and spend quality time with family and friends.
You are a true inspiration!!
Love always Laura (scrappin4kaytie) xoxoxox
Hi Dee :)
I forgot about Dee Days so here I am - I even almost forgot about my OWN blog, I've been so busy.
I'm so glad I've been able to see you this week. I hope and pray that everything goes beautifully for you, Andy, Pickle & Dane and all your wonderful family & friends, for your Christmas tomorrow.
You will be surrounded by the love of all your darlingest darlings, and that's the only thing that matters.
Love you heaps and heaps - my house if lit with candles tonight, Anji & Trudi are on the train, and the rain is magnificent.
Love ya
Kaz xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hi dee. i don't know how you have the inner strength you have, but it's something you have always had and always will. im so glad i saw you the other day it's been WAY too long since we have seen each other, but it's never too late. ill come visit again soon keep on smiling.
with love and light
love always bec mackie xxx
i haven't met you but have been following your story the last few months and today's brought tears to my eyes
my heart aches for you and your gorgeous family and hope that your christmas is wonderful and filled with love and hugs and kisses
hold those babies close and breathe in every moment
your CISter
Ginny (my5bratz)
It saddens me to hear what you are going through Dee and saying goodbye is never easy particularly now :( I hope you are able to overcome the challenges of this weekend and enjoy time with all the family and seeing the kids enjoy their pressies. I send all my love and prayers to you
Ally xxxxxx
Dee darling, You are such a strong woman, do NOT be discouraged, you keep fighting!
If you contact the hospital, they may be able to arrange for you to hire some equipment such as a lifting machine so that you will be able to be at home where you are most comfortable.
Please emailme if you want a visitor, deirdre_heath@hotmail.com
Will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Sending you strength and love.
Dee Heathxx
Dear Dee
Hope you have a wonderul weekend with teh kids and family. I pray that God will give you the strengh and peace to deal with whatever is ahead.
May you be blessed
Linda
Reading your post was so hard, Dee, but your courage through this is incredible.
Hope you got home for the weekend and had a beautiful time with the kids and your family with many precious memories.
big hugs.
Lots of love and many many prayers.
God bless.
Rachael Edwards
("Rached" from NSC)
oh dee, im sitting here crying cos i often think about you but i hadnt been to your blog because for some reason i thought that it wasnt being updated. I have no idea why I was thinking that!!!!
so im very sorry i wasnt here reading, but you were never far from my thoughts. and i have been thinking about you often.
my prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. i miss our little chats :(
i hope you have a wonderful christmas day, that u find strength and serenity that you didnt know that you had.
ill come back every day now lovely!
love you heaps dee!!! mwah mwah
xxx K
Post a Comment